Potty training an undetermined 4 year old

 Undetermined is seriously a understatement.   We started at 2 1/2 years old, Maddox, getting him to know the potty because he started showing signs. The biggest one is he recognized that he knew he was doing something in his diaper.  At almost 3 he would say "change me please".  Hey at least he has manners even if he couldn't seem to get the potty training down yet.  

Signs of Being Ready to Potty Train

• Toddler who can stay dry for an hour or two stretch and can especially wake up from nap or in the morning dry
• Regularly has bowel movements at predictable times
• Increased awareness of bodily functions by letting you know that they need changing (to poop Maddox would go in a corner)
• An interest in neatness, cleanliness, dryness
• Understanding difference wet and dry, clean and dirty
• Familiarity with bathroom terminology such as pee and poop etc. and body parts such as bottom, weewee, or whatever you call the body parts in your home.
• Ability to communicate needs to understand and follow simple directions
• An interest in wearing underpants instead of diapers (where he still doesn't show an interest to this day)
• Ability to do some self dressing
• Curiosity about bathroom habits of others, they will follow you and other members into bathroom to see what they do. 

Maddox did almost all those by 3 and if he wasn't by 3 was doing them all by 3 1/2 except show interest in underpants still hasn't and probably won't.  Who knows he maybe the only first grader going commando you just never know with him.  He is a very unique character.

We had a couple success stories along the way.  A few times that he actually did use the potty, even in public which got him more praise.  We of course praised him and gave him toys and candy.  We went overboard if you want to be honest about it.  My mother and I both bought him these things.  It didn't stick.  You would think as a child you go to the potty and you get rewarded with toys and candy (M & M's to be exact we weren't cheap) you would say to yourself, hey I could be on to something here.  Not my child.  

In our home he has his own potty that has Elmo and Big Bird on it.  It literally collects dust he wants nothing to do with it.  Refuses to even sit on it.  He also Disney Cars seat that fits on our toilet he will at least sit on that one but still nothing.  Have you ever met a child that you put veggies on their plate and say to them you can't get up unless you eat your veggies and the next morning your still sitting there and they don't care.  That's him he will hold his pee he don't care or he will pee for you that time and then pee on himself the next to spite you (seriously been there).  

When I talk to his pediatrician, "He will get it give him time, he has to go at his own pace." Which is true he did stop nursing on his own and lay down the pacifier on his own but if we go any slower doc we will be graduating still in diapers.  I joke but I am worried.  So I am determined to get him potty trained by the end of summer.  It's only April why am I giving myself so long.  I will be honest, to get a game plan.  I have to come at this kid in a different way.  He doesn't respond to rewards, threats, intimidation, or begging even.  So what is his niche I have to find it.  What will motivate him to potty!!!  Maybe not seeing mommy go further insane??  We shall see.

I do have some steps I will share with you if you an aspiring mom of an a future undetermined child.  

• I am going to keep playing up how cool it is to potty like a big boy and how super cool it is to be mommy's big boy!
• I am going to keep playing up how cool it to be a big boy and growing up all together.  He can do so much more now that is a big boy! 
• I am going to do my homework by reading more on Pinterest, in my book "What to Expect the Toddler Years", and ask my friends that have already potty trained their kids.
• I am going to get Daddy to demonstrate multiple times (again)
• The research says to buy or borrow a doll that drinks and wets and encourage toddler to teach the doll how to potty train but I don't know anyone that has a doll like that and I am not sure if we want to purchase a doll considering we do not have a daughter.
• We already have a potty that he does like (the Cars potty seat that fits on ours) however if no success we may purchase a stand alone potty that he actually likes.
• Research says to switch to training pants
• Allow him to go bear bottom occasionally to get in touch with his body signals 
• Keep the portable potty close possibly in living room and then have the one that attaches to the toilet for backup or when he gets more confident.
• Dressing him in easier clothes to unfasten or get off when he does have to go to the bathroom
• Watch him closely for signs that he needs to go and then asking him if he needs to go when I see one.
• Watch the clock closely.  Once I get his pattern down on when he goes to the bathroom then I can expect to have a routine.
• Don't hold him prisoner on the toilet, allow him to come and go as he pleases.  He won't learn if he starts to fear or hate the potty.
• I will use a method that worked for me for years when I had trouble going turning on the faucet.  The sheer sound of the water hitting the sink would somehow always make me have to go.
• If he tells me he went after the fact, I won't count that as a failure.  After all he told me went we are still making progress.
• When he does go no matter how small I will celebrate the success!
• I will motivate him to be a big boy!
• I will have him learn to recognize when he is dry and when he is wet
• Remember to be patient with him
• Remember to teach him about washing his hands and good hygiene in bathroom
• Remember to inform anyone that is active in his life to help us with the potty training. 
• Remember to be sensitive to his feelings.  This is a learning process for him.

I hope all these wonderful tips help you with your undetermined child.